My Reasons
by cuTie'-'chiQuiLita
Summary: It's a little bit similar to a scene it New Moon, since I'm inspired by it. Anyway, I hope you read it, and comment on it if it's bad or not. You're reviews and criticism are all welcome..tynx!..:


**Disclaimer: I will never own Gakuen Alice but this plot belongs to me

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**My Reasons**

**~Mikan's POV~**

"Natsume, please hold on, wait until they arrive...don't leave me yet" I said as tears fell from my eyes

"P-polka, I-I can't, I-I'm tired. B-but, I want you to do something for m-me" he said

I can see he's trying so hard to keep his eyes open

"Anything Natsume! Anything! What is it?" I asked, holding his hands tightly, bringing it closer to my chest

"D-don't do anything stupid and reckless, a baka such as yourself can't stay away from danger" he said and he even gave me a smirk

He took a large sharp intake of breath and looked at me

"I-I don't have much time left, s-so promise me that and t-take yourself..b-baka" he said as he slowly closed his eyes

"No Natsume! Don't leave me! Please don't close your eyes...please...Kami, don't take him...Natsume, please wait until the paramedics arrive...please don't leave me..I-I love you..." I yelled, shaking him a little

"M-Mik-an-n...I l-lo-"

*Gasp*

"N-Nat? Nat?..NAT..NNNAAATTTSSSUUUMMMMMEEEE!!!!!"

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**~Normal POV~**

"It's been three days since he was gone. It's been three days since he left me. It's been three days since, since he-he d-died" was what the brown haired girl said as she laid on the floor

Knock...knock...knock...

"Baka, open this door" a soft monotone voice said

Knock...knock...knock...

"Mikan, I'll say this one last time. Open the damn door!" her voiced increased

No words were spoken inside the dark room and the girl outside is losing her patience.

"That's it!" she yelled

BANG! BANG! BANG! CRACK! BOOM!

"Mikan! Show yourself! Where are you?" her friend asked as she entered the dark empty room

The girl was none other than Hotaru Imai a.k.a. the Ice Queen who doesn't show any emotion whatsoever. But it seems like panic is becoming evident in her face for she can't find her best friend anywhere

"M-Mikan, where are you?" she asked to no one in particular as she sat on the bed, thinking where her friend might be. She stayed there in silence and heard running water in the bathroom

'The bathroom!' she thought

She walked towards the bathroom and found the door locked. She began to panic more since she was calling for her friend and received nothing in response

"Mikan, open the door please. Don't do this to me, Mikan...Mikan...MIKAN!!" she shouted since there was no movement taking place inside the said room

The ebony haired girl finally los it and kicked the door really hard and the door fell. The sight in front of her scared the living day lights out of her

"MIKAN!!!"

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**~Mikan's POV~**

Black. Darkness. Emptiness. These are what I feel right now. I can't see anything around me. Where am I? Am I dead?

"_What were you thinking polka?"_ a soft voice said

"Natsume? Is that you?" I asked

"_Answer me! Why were you under the shower, soaking wet for five freaking hours?!"_ the voice shouted

I looked everywhere and still found darkness, where is he?

"Natsume? Where are you?" I asked

"_I'm here baka" _the voice said

I can tell that the voice came behind me. I turned around and came face to face with my lover

"Natsume! I missed you!" I shouted and lunged myself to him

He didn't respond to my hug since his arms lay restlessly at his sides

"_You promised"_ was his only reply

He pushed me a little and a distance was formed between us. He held me by the shoulder and shook me non-too-gently

"_Were you trying to kill yourself? What were you thinking back there?!!" _he shouted

"I-I don't know Natsume! I can't think straight anymore! I can't live without you!" I shouted

He shoved me, I fell, he started to walk away

"No Natsume! Don't leave me again!" I shouted but he still keeps on walking

I stood up and ran after him but I was a little too far behind. I tried to run faster but these legs can't do what I wanted them to do. I forced myself to run faster but it resulted to me tripping

"Come back Natsume! Come back!" I shouted as tears fell from my eyes

My chest hurts so much, I can't take it. I laid on the ground and hugged myself tightly

"Natsume, p-please don't leave me. I don't know what to do without you" I whispered

"Natsume...Natsume...Natsume...Natsume...Natsume...Natsume..."

"Mikan, wake up...Mikan...open your eyes" a voice said. I know that voice; it belongs to my best friend, Hotaru

As I opened my eyes, I came in contact with my best friend's amethyst eyes

"H-Hotaru" I said weakly

"What were you thinking Mikan?!" she exploded

Those words was what he said to me

"Huh?" was what I said back

"You almost died from hypothermia! Why the hell were you in the shower for five stupid hours?!" she shouted

Wow, I've never seen this side of Hotaru before. She didn't even react this way when her brother, Subaru, died a year ago. Her brother died during the Alice War last year when he tried to heal Tsubasa-sempai when who was shot. An enemy was nearby and was almost dying but it seems like he doesn't want to die alone.

Alice War. We've won the war against the AAO. I thought that after the war everything would be peaceful, Natsume won't be taking any missions anymore since Persona was killed by Reo. But I was wrong, we had another enemy: the Elementary School Principal. Even though Persona was gone, he was still there and he want s his reign to commence. He tried to control Natsume and the D.A. class but it was a good thing Natsume disobeyed him. Natsume, he died from fighting the ESP, he died for the safety of the D.A. class and for the safety of all students of Gakuen Alice. He died as a hero for everyone. Everything now is back to normal, except me. I can't live in a world he doesn't exist, I can't stand breathing when he can't and most of all, I can't continue life knowing that the ESP ended his. I was hurt, I was torn, my heart shattered when the gun hit him in the chest, a direct hit through his heart. My world turned black when his body collapsed on the floor. I died with him that day, my body and spirit yearns to be with him, to hold him, to cherish him, to kiss him and to stay with him for eternity,

"I just want to be with him Hotaru" was my reply

"He won't like to see you like this Mikan!" she shouted, shaking me as if to wake me up from my stupidity

"I-I just want to see him, I-I can't live without him Hotaru! I'd rather die than not having him here!" I shouted back

SLAP!

"He's dead Mikan, accept it" she said and walked out of the room

"H-Hotaru" I said, looking at her retreating figure and caressing my swollen cheeks

"Gomen, I don't think I can do that" I said and looked down

It had been two days since Hotaru slapped me; it had been two days since we last talked to each other. I know she won't talk to me since I've hurt her. But whatever hurt she has, it's nothing compared to mine.

I'm now walking aimlessly in the hallway, alone. This was the hallway where Natsume and I would take; it's a faster way to the Sakura tree. I'm almost at the end when I spotted some group of boys up ahead

"_Polka, stop"_ a male voice said

To say I was shocked was the biggest understatement of the year! Did I really hear his voice? Or was it just my imagination. There's one way to find out.

I continued walking towards the boys

"_Polka, stop and go back"_he said again

"Natsume?" I asked, no response so I walked towards the boys again

"_Polka, damnit, go back!_" he shouted

I stopped abruptly and accidentally hit the can I avoided a while ago. The can hit the wall and made quite a noise. The noise was heard by the group of boys and they looked for the creator. Me.

"_Polka, turn back and run"_ he insisted

The guys spotted me and smirked. They made their way towards me and I unconsciously took a step back

"_Polka! Run!" _he shouted

"No Natsume, I want to see you" I said and didn't move a muscle

"_You're stubborn as ever Mikan"_ he replied. But showed himself nonetheless

I smiled as I see his frustrated face, I missed him so much. His frustrated face turned to a scowl

"_Polka, go, now! They're coming!"_ he said, his face turned to a panic one

Too late...

"Look at what we have here, if it isn't Hyuuga's girl" the guy who I presume as the leader said

I saw Natsume growled at my right _"Hanabi"_ he said the name in disgust

"Ho-ho-ho, do you remember the time when Hyuuga beat the crap out of you boss?" the fat guy who I think was a member said

"_Hn, he cried like a baby that time" _he smirked

"You don't have to remind me!" he shouted at his member, then he looked at me "Well, well, well, to even out the score, why won't I just take his girl, he's not even here anymore" he said and walked up to me.

"_Just touch her Hanabi, you're dead!"_ he shouted

He place a hand below on my chin and trace it downward, he was near my blouse when all of the sudden

SMACK! BOOM! SLAP!

"So you hang out with pathetic losers now?" an emotionless voice said

I turned my back and saw my best friend, holding her most reliable baka gun

"H-Hotaru" I said and finally cried, I dropped on my knees and cried, just cried

"If you're still here for another second, I'll definitely kill you" she threatened and the guys ran away

"Hn" was all Hotaru said and left me there.

I know she's still mad at me and I'm grateful that she saved me from those guys. I made my way to the Sakura tree and stayed there for a while.

"Natsume, I want to see you again" I said, but I got nothing in response.

'I have to find a way to see him' was what I thought as I stood up and decided to go to my room

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'Argh, my head hurts' I thought 'I'm thirsty'

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water to have a drink. After I was done, I put the glass but missed an inch. The glass fell on the floor and 1 whole glass turned to a thousand pieces. I picked broken glass and accidentally cut myself. It didn't hurt, why? I took a bigger piece and cut myself with it, still, it didn't hurt. I thought that if I'll slice my wrist with it, I should feel the pain. As I was about to run in across my flesh...

"_Don't even think about it" _he said

"Natsume?" I looked around and dropped the glass

"_Don't kill yourself baka, for me, please" _

"I'm sorry, I can't continue anymore, please Natsume, and understand me, please" I begged

"_Why? I don't want you to die yet you hear me! Think about _her_"_ he said

"W-who?" I asked

"_O-our child" _he said

"W-what?"

"_You're pregnant Mikan, think about her, don't kill her, and don't kill yourself. Please"_ he begged

"B-but Natsume" I said, tears falling

"_For once Mikan! Don't be selfish!"_ he shouted

"I'll do it, for you" I said and fainted

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"Congratulations Ms. Sakura! You have a beautiful baby girl" the doctor said, as he handed me the baby, wrapped in pink blanket

I looked at her face and she's her father's replica, from the hair color, to the face, to her dark crimson eyes. She looks just like him, except, she's a girl version. I have nothing in her.

"She looks just like her dad, what should you name her?" a soft yet gentle voice said, it used to be emotionless but it seem a certain cerulean eyed boy changed that

"Natsumi, Natsumi Hyuuga" I said to my best friend

Hotaru and I made peace the day after Natsume last showed his face to me. It's been 7 months since I've seen his face. I missed him, but I think I'll just look at my baby girl when I miss him. I handed the baby to Hotaru and saw her playing with Natsumi. She would indeed be a great mother to her child someday. I hope Ruka will make her happy.

"I better be going Mikan, Ruka's outside and its winter, he might get cold" she said as she stood up and gave us a peck on the cheeks

"You be careful now" I said

"I will" she said and smiled

Love can indeed change a person, before, you can never see Hotaru smile, unless it involves money or blackmailing Ruka. But now, a smile is always seen in her face. I guess pregnancy also does that to a person. She is in fact 3 months pregnant with Ruka's child; I wonder when their wedding day will be.

Wedding day, I didn't even celebrate it with the guy I love. I wonder if Natsume was still alive, will we have a wedding day. I do hope so, and then Natsumi would be our little flower girl.

"Natsumi, you look exactly like your father" I said, smiling at my daughter as she looked at me with those crimson eyes of her. She smiled, smiled! She has my dimples!

"Don't worry, I'll tell you everything about your daddy" I said

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"Mommy, mommy! Look! I got a star in Mr. Narumi's class!" a black haired girl said happily, jumping up and down and proudly showing her mother the price she received

"That's awesome darling, now, where would we put your award?"I said and thought and thought

It seems like the award cabinet is filled with Natsumi's achievements

"Mommy, I think we should buy a new cabinet" her daughter said

"You're right Natsumi, I think we should" I said

"We should eat dinner! I cooked already and guess what's for dessert?" I cheerfully asked

"HOWALONS!!!" Natsumi yelled

"Yup, and there is plenty for the two of us!"

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...Dinner time...

"Let's eat!" Mikan said

"Oh, wait, did you forget what date today is mom?" her daughter asked

"Why would I ever forget, honey" Mikan smiled

"Right, this is a special occasion" Natsumi said, smiled the exact same smile her mother has

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY OTOU-SAN/NATSUME!" both cheered

They were about to eat when a knock was heard in the front door

"I'll get it, I'll get it!" the child said

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**~Mikan's POV~**

Happy birthday Nat, it's been 7 years since I've seen your face again. I miss you so much

"Yeah, I'll call her" I heard Natsumi said

"Who was that honey?" I asked

She smiled and just dragged me outside

"Mommy, close your eyes" she said

"Why?" I asked

"Just close your eyes, please?" she said

"Fine"

I closed my eyes and walked with the guidance of my daughter toward the front door.

"Natsumi, can I open my eyes now?" I asked

"Wait mom" she said

I stood there for a minute, then she let go of my hand and I don't know where she's gone to

"_Where's my present, Polka?"_

I opened my eyes, and there, in front of me, is Natsume

"N-Natsume" I said, tears are once again forming in my eyes

"_Did you miss me?" _he asked

"Y-yes" I choked out

"W-why are you here?" I asked

"_I'm here to say my last goodbye, I need to rest now polka. You have Natsumi here with you. But always remember. I love you, now and forever"_ he said and kissed me

It was a gentle, passionate kiss but was filled with all the emotions we both felt for each other

"I love you too, Natsume" I said

"_I'll wait for you"_ he said, as his spirit is finally fading

"I love you dad!" my daughter shouted

"I love you too, honey!" he said

And then, he was gone. He left us now. But I know, he's happy. I'm happy too. At least now, he can rest.

"I can't wait to be with you again, my love" I said

I looked one last time on the place where he stood, and slowly, closed the door.

I know that I will leave through all of this without Natsume. I have the support Hotaru, Ruka, and all of our friends gave me and most importantly, I have Natsumi. All of them, are there for me, to cheer me up when I'm feeling down, to make me smile when I can't, they are the people who believe in me, the people who still love me despite my short comings. they are also the reason why I try to be alive, the reason why I try to live a normal life. They are the reasons for it all. They are my reasons lo live, lo laugh to love. they are my reasons

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**Some random stuffs I've thought about. I've been having insomnia lately and well, this is just a thing to kill time. I hope you enjoy it guys..RxR..:)**

**Mikan: Kitty-chan, why are you having insomnia?**

**Kitty: I don't know Michi, I just find it hard to sleep at night**

**Mikan: Oh, I hope you'll have a good night sleep tonight :)**

**Kitty: I hope so too Michi :)**

**Mikan: Anyway, review or comment guys! :))  
**


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